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Air to the Throne: A Poetry Chapbook about Air Guitar

By Michael Croland

Kindle Direct Publishing, 2020

“The most ridiculous(ly awesome) hero’s journey of ’em all!”
—Matt “Airistotle” Burns, two-time world air guitar champion

“In all fairness—
These poems ooze with airness.”
—Dan “Björn Türoque” Crane, author of To Air Is Human

“If air guitar had a poet laureate, it would be Michael Croland.”
—Eric Jonas, PhD, original recipient of the poems

Over the past decade, Airistotle has dominated air guitar competitions and dazzled audiences. The two-time world champion and four-time US champion deserves poems glorifying his greatness!

Air to the Throne recaps Airistotle’s triumphs and captures the essence of a silly sport and its larger-than-life characters. The poems address new directions and alternative perspectives for air guitar and other invisible instruments. More than a chronicle of competitions, this poetry chapbook speaks to overzealous nationalism and the prioritization of winning during the Trump era—all with humor, wordplay, and ambitious rhymes.

Michael Croland is the author of Oy Oy Oy Gevalt! Jews and Punk and Punk Rock Hora: Adventures in Jew-Punk Land. As an air guitar artist and expert, Michael has appeared or been cited in To Air Is Human, Sports Illustrated TV, CBS New York, The Virginian-Pilot, Houston Press, The Medical Journal of Australia, and Teruah Jewish Music.

Click here to read “Air to the Throne: A Guide for Fans of My Jewish Punk Books.”

 

Contents

 

Preface

 

I. The Airistotle Dynasty

The Everyman’s Rock Star

USAG Champion for the Second Time

Eyre Apparent

The Americans Were Looking Good

The Airistotle Dynasty

Air Travel

Darn Tootin’!

Will Airistotle Pull It Off?

Heir to the Throne

Ere the Dark Horse Competition and AGWC

I Believed

The Champ for Air Fore’er and E’er

Airistotle Didn’t Err, but . . .

Heavy Meta

Perfect Score: Airistotle’s First New York Regional since 2014

End of an AIRa?

 

II. Air Guitar: Beyond Airistotle

Call Me Aseleponeuvottelutoimikunnansihteeristö (Finnish for “The Secretariat to the Peace Negotiations Committee”)

Americans Watching the AGWC Livestream When They Had Other Responsibilities

The Oprah Effect

The Wind Retrieves His Brother

 

III. Other Air Instruments

Not Going Accordion to Plan

Soft Cello

DIY Flogging Molly

 

© Michael Croland 2020

Website development by Jonah Schrogin