In Air to the Throne: A Poetry Chapbook about Air Guitar, I included poems I’ve written about air guitar since 2014. I considered including my limericks but didn’t.
Here for the first time are seven limericks about air guitar—plus one about air accordion! There’s even a brand-new limerick about Smiley Rod, who won the US Air Guitar Online Championships this weekend.
The Day of the AGWC
Focus on today? Ev’ry reason
Otherwise, air guitar fan treason
But then season’s dead
I can’t help but dread
The nigh ennui of the offseason
Master of Airemonies
There once was a man named Björn Türoque
Playing the air guitar, he did rock
But now he emcees
When somebody is bad, he will mock
There once was a man from San Jose
Air accordion he loves to play
He yearns to compete
He won’t taste defeat
At the taco festival each May
Ivy League Doctoral Candidate
There once was a Brown dissertation
For the best topic in the nation
In case you’ve not heard
It’s McDaniel, Byrd,
Who will bring us all such elation!
2019 USAG Prediction
There once was an airtiste who’s all that
Poor judging made her chances go splat
May she try ag’in!
This time she shall win!
My pick for the new champ is KitKat
Root for Royalty, Not Rookies
There once was a king, Airistotle
Not some new champ we’d have to coddle
To air royalty
We pledge loyalty
He’s sure to perform at full throttle
The 7th American to Win the Air Guitar World Championships
There once was a champ: U S A G
Who then won the A G Dubya C
Though not my first choice
I still will rejoice
The gold medal went to The Marquis
Online Championships during a Pandemic
The season’s cancellation brought rage
Back in the bedroom? Rat in a cage!
Videos? They’re odd
But then Smiley Rod
Won by performing on a real stage!